We are often asked, “Why is my child hanging out with ‘bad’ friends?” Or “Why do I keep falling for abusive men?” Or “Why do I keep doing business with people who cheat me?” Those questions arise from one deeper question: “What is it about the state of mind I live in that attracts me to the ‘wrong’ people?” Everyone lives in a range of feeling and understanding that they would call “normal.” People who live at the same level we do feel safe and familiar. So our own security and peace of mind determine our associations. As we change, some drift away and others are drawn in. If we want “better” friends, we deepen our own understanding and find more peace of mind. Then it happens naturally.